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I have taken some time to remove myself a bit from May 22nd’s overwhelming heartbreak, as well as attempted to clear my vision so that I could see this season on a whole rather than just having my focus on it’s tremendously disappointing end. There was not a dry eye for anyone wearing maroon and gold on that field at the end of the championship game. We stood and watched as TCNJ received the first place trophy that we had sought after all year long and it hurt. It still hurts. But for as many painful tears as we have shed, we have received that many comforting hugs. I had trouble looking into the stands during the trophy ceremony. All of our family and friends were up there. They had dropped everything to spend a weekend in New Jersey just for us. They had been doing this all year long and for five of us this had been for four years straight. We dictated the way that their calendars had been set all spring and they had never even uttered a single complaint. Afterwards, we went immediately to the locker room and as we slowly and methodically got changed, we confessed that we dreaded walking up to the tailgate. We wiped our eyes and whispered to one another that we didn’t think we could make it through a hug from our parents. That if we could get ourselves together before we walked out there, the flood gates would be immediately re-opened with one glance at them. And as we slowly dragged our feet to approach them, they clapped and cheered for us loudly. We saw through our wet eyes that, although some of their eyes were filling up as well, what stood out the most was that their faces beamed with the proudest of smiles. They hugged us tightly, pushing our heads back up and in their hearts we were still number one, and would always be. It is all of them that continually reminded us throughout a trying post-season: "It’s about you." They unselfishly supported us more than we could have asked for and we cannot thank them enough. On Saturday evening each of them came to our hotel to attend the 2005 Salisbury Women’s Lacrosse Graduation Ceremony. There, in a hotel conference room that was packed to the brim, they witnessed just how close they have helped our team to become. Knowing we would miss our graduation earlier that day due to playing in the national semi-finals, our teammates had decided to put together a ceremony on their own. It is something that I will never, ever, in my entire life forget. It was truly special. We laughed. We cried. We laughed so hard that we cried some more. My dad had to miss the championship game because he was just 20 minutes away at Princeton coaching his Terps in their own NCAA play-off game. He was however able to attend the graduation ceremony Saturday night. I had a very comforting phone conversation with him after our loss though that helped me to put everything in perspective. It wasn’t the records set and awesome wins this year that he pointed out to me as comfort. Nor was it the amazing amount of times that our team was able to make school history in just one season. He talked to me about the moments that will stick with me forever, moments like Saturday night in that conference room, crying tears of joy, provoked by girls I met through chance but will remain friends with forever. My father played lacrosse at Hopkins and lost two national championship games before his team captured one his senior year. He has also been a college lacrosse coach for about 30 years now. He knows the pain that we feel and he knows what will last much, much longer than that pain: the friendships. He told me that I have been lucky to have found a group of girls like this and that most people are not that lucky. I believe him completely. And although, it will continue to hurt for a while, it is absolutely amazing how we have each other to help get through it. That is what is important. It has been a long, hard four years filled with timed runs, 6 a.m. workouts, bruises, calluses, exhaustion, frustration, wins, losses, pain, tears, laughter, tan lines, bus rides, chapped lips, practical jokes, runny noses, more tears, and always more laughter. I have loved every single second of it; yes, even the timed 100 repeats on the track at 6:30 a.m. in the pitch black. I have loved it because we have been through it all together. I walk away with a smile because I know that although my Salisbury lacrosse career is officially over, I am always a part of the Salisbury lacrosse family that we have made. And for all of the girls that will be back next year: getting "REVENGE in ’06" started the second after the game ended on May 22nd. Get after it girls! I believe in us! Entry #5: May 16, 2005 One thing that I will always be able to remember is how I felt on game day mornings. My alarm clock may not be set until 9 or 10 a.m., but my eyes will shoot wide open at about 7 (if I am lucky) and I will lay there, wide awake, counting down the seconds until game time. I will turn off my alarm clock that never got the chance to beep at me and then wait. I try to be quiet because I don’t want to wake up my roommates. But if you know me at all, you know that ‘being quiet’ isn’t actually a physical possibility. A little after 8 or so, I’ll hear my roommates/teammates/friends-for-life, Linda Ackermann and Emily Dutch moving around and we will open our doors at the same time and peek our heads out with bright, alert eyes and ear to ear smiles saying "Hey! Yea, I couldn’t sleep either. So, how’s it look outside!?" Saturday and Sunday morning was the same routine, we were up bright and early, ready to run out onto our home field for the last two times of our lives. (sigh) We walked through the tunnel in two straight lines chanting at the top of our lungs for our final times as well. (tear, sniff) But as sad as this makes me feel, I couldn’t be happier right now. I am so proud of this past weekend’s results and every single girl on our team. During our pre-game huddles the girls told the seniors that they were playing this weekend for us. They said they were all going to have the mind set of playing like it was their last game and would be putting it all out there. Well they did and they were amazing. Every single person on our roster did an awesome job and that made all the difference. We dominated both games, successfully earning our ticket to the Final Four! And with a humongous smile, we (the seniors) can report that we will be unable to attend our graduation ceremony this Saturday because we will be in New Jersey playing lacrosse! There is also a certain group of people that I want to take the time to thank for playing a crucial role in helping us to get to this point: Our parents. We have an unbelievable amount of support from them. After all, they are the people that raised us to be the cut-throat competitors that we have become today. In a poem that I wrote the team for the game on Sunday, I talked about what we play for and at one point said play ‘for our parents, who were the first to know we were born with the hearts of champions. They saw the brave spark in our eyes as we repeatedly tumbled on little wobbly legs, not allowing their help. We really appreciate each and every one of you; from the all-knowing advice-giving, awesomely loud cheering dads to the quietly-clapping, most comforting hug-giving moms and anyone in between those extremes. Our parents are our rocks. And not just our own parents, playing on this team makes you feel like you have 27 parents there for you. One dad in particular that we all really want to make sure knows how much he means to us, is our Papa Murphy. He no longer has a daughter playing on the field either. His little girl is now our assistant coach Kelly Murphy. He is such a constant for us that I have told him many times that I consider him my surrogate lacrosse father. He is always there with words of comfort or inspiration. This Sunday morning his wonderful heart blew us all away when Kelly read us something that he had written to the team titled "It’s about you." It was a tear-jerking poem telling us to play for ourselves, the individuals, as well as ourselves, the team. He ended it with a note to us saying, "When I look at the team, I see excitement, I see character, and I see a wonderful group of young women. I feel pride and happiness to be part of your success. I challenge each of you to fire up the passion to win. I challenge each of you to be 'you.' Remember it’s about you." By the time Murph finished reading it to us, we were all wiping our eyes, taking deep breathes, believing full heartedly in every word that he had written. Mr. Murphy, THANK YOU and we will have these beautiful words ringing in our heads all week: "It’s about you It’s about you Entry #4: May 10, 2005 Well, it is officially DO or DIE time. The NCAA brackets have been announced and if you mess up it is over. The announcements were made Sunday evening and we are very pleased with what we heard. After a phenomenal season, we are entering the tournament with the #1 ranking and will be hosting this upcoming weekend. This is an extreme advantage, so we are very proud to have earned it. The winner of a Springfield/Eastern Connecticut match-up on Wednesday will have to face us Saturday morning (11:30 a.m.). Amherst and Washington & Lee will be battling it out immediately following our game in the other regional semifinal. Now all we have to do is get through this last week of classes right? Well, it really isn’t going to be that easy. I think I speak on behalf of most of the team when I say it is pretty close to impossible to concentrate on our schoolwork. The weather is perfect, our dear friends the seagulls are flying around, the sun is shining, and we just want to be out there laxing. I can’t even tell you the number of times that I have caught myself daydreaming about massive victory hugs and then come back to reality to stare at a blank Microsoft word document, with only a lonely black marker blinking at me from the bright screen. Or the amount of time that I have spent doing "research" on the internet to investigate other teams stats, or reading our oh-so-extreme, not-so-mysterious #1 fan "ladygull’s" latest comments on the laxpower.com forum when I really should be finishing my work. Don’t worry though Moms and Dads, you can rest easy knowing
that your daughters were born to compete and even if it is in the classroom, we
want to be the best. Also, Coach Nestor will keep us in line, with his frequent:
"How are your classes going???" and "Make sure you stay on top of
your school work!" He is doing a good job of keeping us on our toes at
practice too. Perhaps he feels antsy just watching or misses his glory days as
an SU laxer, whatever the inspiration, he has been joining in at practice a lot
lately and it has been really fun. He often jumps onto one of the team’s in an
inner-squad scrimmage and we run for our lives when we see him chasing after us
for a back check. As well as, thank God that we have not met a girl that can
thread the needle like he can. Much to our enjoyment, he has really been mixing
things up. I think that this helps to keep our heads clear and our spirits light
while we anxiously await this coming weekend. Entry #3: May 2, 2005 Since the Salisbury University campus is not very large, if you were to swing by and take a stroll on our campus during the day, chances are that you might run into a few of the lacrosse girls walking to class. I would be willing to bet you that they would be wearing a smile and holding a yellow lacrosse ball. The smile would be the result of a team bonding idea that junior midfielder Mary Bateman had for all of us. She was thinking about the NCAA tournament that we are anxiously awaiting and how our nerves are feeling it a bit. We are confident because we know that we have what it takes, but we are also aware that holding the current #1 ranking in our possession leaves quite a large target on our back. This target is under the radar of a lot of angry girls and we know that they are gunning for us. Mary thought that it would be a good idea to remind each other as to why we are able to be in the position that we have obtained. So she had all of us type up a list of the top reasons that we like playing on the team with each person. The reasons did not have to be just about skill; they could be about people’s attitudes, thoughtfulness, or even the fact that they can make us laugh when we need it. We then forwarded our lists to her and she compiled an individual compliment list for each person. As silly as this could sound to some of you that may like to keep your warmer thoughts to yourself, we feel that this was a great way to help ease some tension, create a few smiles, and put a little swagger back into our stride. However, the smile might not just be about the 28 compliments that we have each received from our teammates, it might also be because the girl feels goofy going to class with a lacrosse ball. After last week’s win over Washington College, our coach made an announcement. He told us that we all had to take a ball out of the ball bag and make it our own. We needed to label it so that we would know that it was ours and we were required to have the ball with us at all times. He warned us that there would be repercussions if he were to catch us on campus without our ball. We all giggled a little bit about the instructions and then began to hurry so that we could pick out the best ball in the bag to make our own. And of course as everything eventually winds up on our team, it became a competition. We all showed up to practice the next day with our ball showing off the way that we had decorated it. Some of the girls’ balls looked as though they may have skipped all work the night before so that they could make sure that they had the best-decorated ball on the team. Although we still aren’t fully sure why we need to take our ball with us "everywhere" we go, we do it without question because Coach said so. We just secretly hope that after our game on Wednesday against Rowan he doesn’t give us instructions that along with bringing our ball all over we have to wear our goggles at all times too. Entry #2: April 26, 2005 At the beginning of the season we set goals for ourselves and after Saturday’s conference championship win we have accomplished our first major goal of the 2005 season. It feels good, but there are still other goals not yet tackled, so we have a lot of work ahead of us. There is a team concept that we carried over from last year, which helps us to continuously improve throughout the season. As proud as we were of our level of play last year, we knew coming into the 2005 season that we needed to take that level up another notch. We have a maroon and gold team rope that is passed from one teammate to another in our pre-game huddles. The idea is that everyday we need to keep moving the rope - our level of intensity and play - up higher. Each person on the team helps to do this by the way that we push one another in games, but more importantly, during practice. Everyone on the team plays an equal role in our ability to win games, from our leading scorer to the girl that may not get to see much of the field during game time; because it is that second girl that pushes the leading scorer everyday of the week to get to where she is. I personally believe that most of our practices are much tougher than our games because of the level of competition that we provide for one another. At the end of our team talk during the huddle, the girl that received the rope last passes it along to another teammate who they have noticed working particularly hard the past week to help the team step it up. It is a nice way for us to be able to take time to recognize one another’s hard work and thank each other for it. In the beginning of this semester one of our local fans gave a bouncy ball to junior defender Katy Funk while she was waiting on him at the Greene Turtle. She said that he comes in regularly and loves to talk to her about the team. He read about the rope last year and thought that we would like to have this ball to pass along as well. So this season we have been doing just that. We discussed how motivating it is that along with the friends and families that we have behind us as support, there are also people throughout the community rooting for us that we don’t even know. We were inspired by this man’s spirit and thought that the perfect thing to do would be to pass the ball along to the girl that has been the best motivator throughout the week. Sometimes the ball goes to the girl who has been cheering the hardest to really pump everyone up, and then a lot of times it goes to the girl that takes the extra time every day to let you know what you are doing successfully or even more importantly she constructively points out what could be changed. We are glad that we have two more weeks before the NCAA tournament begins so that we can continue to raise the rope and push one another. We also have two more regular season games to get through. Today we head down the road to Washington College and hopefully we will take the advice that was given to us by our assistant coach Kelly Murphy at the beginning of this week of practice: "Don’t settle for what we have already done, reach out and be greedy for more!" Entry #1: April 18, 2005 Right after the final whistle blew in last year’s heartbreaking semifinal loss on May 15th, 2004 to The College of New Jersey; there has been a constant voice in the back of each of our heads repeating “All the way in ’05!” We got a taste of what we wanted, but it was just a tease, and since then we have not taken our eyes off of that goal. Since that non-relenting rainy day in Rochester, New York, now only one month short of a full year ago, we have done everything that we possibly can to make sure that we are prepared to come out on top this time. The results so far can speak for themselves, with a record of 11-0 and having successfully avenged last year’s disappointing losses with some sweet revenge early this season by beating TCNJ on our home turf and also getting back at Middlebury on a sweaty spring break afternoon in Florida. As great as these accomplishments have felt, we are not content. We look forward to meeting these teams again in playoffs and know full well that it will be an even better battle. But don’t worry; we have not gotten ahead of ourselves because at this moment our main concern is capturing the Capitol Athletic Conference championship title this week. The 2005 season is a long road and we want to be the team that makes it to the end of it. I thought that for my first journal entry I would share a poem that I wrote for the team in the beginning of the season. It describes how we view the season and strongly believe that it is the work behind the scenes, when no one is looking except ourselves that will get us where we want to be: It’s A Long Road But It’s Worth It “It’s
a long road but it’s worth it!” Deep
breathes in, out, in, out We
will gladly decorate our arms with bruises There
is no doubt that we will hurt and tire. | ||||||||||||||||
